No Room in the End

God slowed the truck to a crawl as we drove down the exit ramp into the small Oklahoma town. We didn’t want to miss anything and unfortunately there wasn’t much to see. There was one main road that made up New Bethel and all the shops and gas stations littered it like garbage on the highway. We passed a Quick Mart and drove up to a Motel 6 but the sign out front flashed “NO VACANCY” in bold letters. God then drove up to Mel’s Motor Lodge but it also flashed a NO VACANCY sign.

“We are in the middle of nowhere on Christmas day and all these motels are filled,” God said. “This is even beyond my powers. How cold this be?” As if to answer his question next to Mel’s we saw a sign that read New Bethel Welcomes the Oklahoma Census Bureau Committee.

God let out a sigh. “It is as it has been written,” he said with disgust. “Next time I’ll pay more attention to the fine print in the O.T.”

The third place we came upon looked completely abandoned. It was called Heaven’s Motor Lodge. The sign out front read “THERE IS ALWAYS A VACANCY IN HEAVEN.”

Mom’s voice broke the silence that had befallen the truck since we had entered New Bethel. We had all hoped that magically a hospital with a brand new berthing center would have appeared and were disappointed by the abundance of gas stations, motels and fast food restaurants that we discovered instead. This disappointment had made us mute.

“Can I ask a stupid question?” mother said.

“Sure,” Dad answered cautiously. He sensed a trap.

“What are you doing driving up to these motels for?” mom asked. “I mean, I was hoping more for a hospital rather than a motel.”

“Well, I figured we might get us a room, check in, you know so we won’t have to do it afterwards, and then we could call 911,” God said.

“So you don’t have to check in afterwards? Maybe you’ll have time to take a long hot shower too, possibly get a sandwich,” Mom said.

“That would be nice. It has been a rather long day and I have been a little hungry ever since we passed that McDonald’s,” God agreed.

Mom’s voice exploded like a firecracker on the Fourth of July, “We don’t have time to check into a hotel.” Mom cried, her voice teetering between surprise and anger. “These towns don’t have an ambul…” Her words were cut short as another contraction came. “Just get me somewhere. Anywhere, but this truck will work.”

God drove into the dark motel named Heaven where weeds worked their way up through cracks in the driveway. A few cars lay scattered throughout the parking lot hinting that life might exist within the dilapidated building. God brought the truck to a stop near the office and jumped out. He ran to the door and tried to open it but the door held firm. It was locked. God rang the bell. He waited and rang it again and then just as he was about to press it a third time, a sleepy man stumbled out of the back. The man had a week’s worth of stubble on his face.

“Can I help you, Sir?” the man said. He rubbed at the back of his neck as he talked.

“My wife is about to have a baby. Can we please have a room?” God asked.

“What?” the man’s eyes tuned into saucers. The sleep seemed to rush out of his eyes in a moment.

“My wife is about to have a baby. We need a doctor,” God said.

“Well, we don’t have any doctors here. See, this is a motel,” the man answered. “I did check in a plumber earlier. I could see if he might be able to help you.”

God thought about the offer. He looked over at us and both Mom and I shook our heads “no”. He looked back at the manager.

“I guess that won’t do. We really need a doctor,” God said.

“Well, let’s see,” the man rubbed his chin. He opened the door and revealed himself to be a scrawny man with an excessive amount of hair on his arms. “Doctor’s tend to hang out at places called hospitals. Also bars, never met a doctor who didn’t like to drink. Hey, that reminds me of a joke. Do you know why doctors drink so much?”

“No…I mean we really are in a rush, could you possibly just…”

“So they have something to do while they’ll smoking,” the man finished. He then laughed and laughed until he started coughing. The coughing lasted longer than the joke and laughter. When the motel manager finally did speak he said, “Problem is, this is a dry county so we can never get a doctor to move in. Of course it also keeps the Catholics out.”

“What about the room?” God interrupted.

“I could give you a room with a view of the field out back.”

“Oh, that sounds perfect,” God said as a wail came from the cab of the truck. “Though I guess we’ll have to settle that later. Do you know of anyone in this town who might be able to deliver a baby?”

“Well, yes, I guess so. We got ourselves a lady down the road who delivers babies all the time. Well at least once or twice a year when someone needs a baby delivered here in town. See most people go to the city. To the hospital,” the man clarified, “where there are doctors who specialize in delivering babies.”

God was beginning to sweat. He hated when people pointed out the obvious. “Yes, I know that. But I guess for now, with no hospital near, this lady will have to do.”

“Now her place isn’t as nice as this,” the man’s arms flew out like the wings of a giant bird as he gestured towards the motel.

God looked around at the growing weeds, chipped paint and broken windows. He took in the overgrown bushes and broken fence posts. Finally he looked over at us sitting in the truck. “I don’t care if she delivers kids in a manger, it’ll do.”

“Now she doesn’t deliver kids; she delivers babies,” the man laughed hard and then went back into a coughing fit. It took two minutes for him to stop coughing.

“Please, just tell me where I can find her.”

The old man gave God directions to the midwife’s home. God thanked the man. God next placed his hands on the man’s chest and told him that the cancer in his lungs had been cured. The man looked at God oddly as God ran back to the truck. Dad jumped into the cab of the truck and headed us all down the road. Mom was breathing faster and groaning more often.

I felt the storm grow closer.

As we entered the darkness of Oklahoma I heard my father’s voice. His voice was warm and confident as he spoke to Mom. “Don’t worry, honey.” God said, “It’s just a little ways down the road. Everything will be fine.”